– I got a couple more questions. – Sure. Take your time. We’re not in a hurry
or anything. – How many times
in all the reboots did I ask Chidi for help, he refused to help me
and then I had to get better on my own? – Never. He always helped you. – God. Really?
– Yep. No matter how I set it up, you found him,
confessed you didn’t belong, asked him for help,
and he said yes. Now his agreeing to help
was part of my plan. What wasn’t part of my plan was it actually working. Drove me nuts. Pesky little nerd. Stuck with you
and always helped you overcome your biggest problem. – Assuming that’s
my selfishness. – No. No, no, no. It’s that you never found
a haircut that framed your face properly. Yes, your selfishness.
– I’m not that selfish. – Eleanor, your cocaine
and escape train are ready. – Not now.
– Okay. – I think Michael is a liar. I think there’s a 99% chance
he’s forking with us. But he’s asking us for help,
so we should help him. Because that’s what
Chidi would do. That’s what Chidi would
do for me or for any of us. – It’s what I am doing.
– I know. – It’s just–you’re talking
about me like I’m not here or something and that just
makes me feel weird. – All right. We’re all in. We’ll help you. – You finally listened
to reason. – On one condition. You wanna be on our team,
you gotta be on our team. Which means
the professor over here is gonna give us all lessons
on how to be better people. Including you. – Oh, no. No, I won’t be
taking any classes. I’m an immortal being with abilities
you can only dream– – Yeah, and we’re
in Arizona, dirtbag. A human turtleneck,
a narcissistic monster, and literally the dumbest person
I’ve ever met. – And who am I?
Describe me now. – We are all going
to take classes. We are all going to improve. And the second you betray us,
I walk into Vicky’s stinky
chowder restaurant and tell her everything. You agree to those terms, and you can join us
on Team Cockroach. So what’s it gonna be? You’re running out of time. And we’re your only option. – [chuckles]