Nov
18
The “Game of Thrones” TV Show Is Way Better Than the Books – Joe Rogan


– I love the show,
theGame of Thrones,but I hate everybody
that read the books. It’s weird.
It’s a conundrum. I don’t hate
that they read the books. I hate that they have to tell me
they read the books. You know,
it’s one of those things that people do when they
tell you they read the book just to let you know
that they read, you know. They always say the same thing. You’re like, “Oh,
Game of Thrones.”
They go,
“The book’s even better.” No, it’s not. It’s never better
to not see something, you fuck. I know what you’re doing. You just want me to know
you read the book. Oh, the book’s better, really? I watch the show,
I see naked people have sex, and then sword fight to death. You’re sitting there
with your eyes closed going, “Oh, I can only imagine
what that would be like. It’s better
if I don’t even see.” Fuck you,
you fake smarty pants. I know
exactly what you’re doing. Fake ass smarty pants. And it’s so transparent. It makes you go “Ugh,”
but you can’t say anything. You’re like, “Ugh.” They also do it when they
tell you that they’re vegan. That’s one of the things
people do. They sneak it in. “Well, you know,
as a vegan, I feel…” Oh, I’ve only known
you for a minute, amazing. They can’t wait to spit it out. It’s like they’re holding their
breathe when they meet you. “Oh, I’m a vegan.
Whoo! Glad I got that out, so I can
start talking about my diet.” It’s almost
like the plants hypnotize them. Like, if you eat enough plants,
they go, “Tell others about us. “Let them know
about the benefits. “You are spiritually enriching. “You are better than them. You are far more awesome.” “Well, as a vegan, as an awesome person, I feel”– They get all bendy. “Basically,
I’m not threatening, and I’m eating vegetables only.” I’m different
than anyone else you know. Why are they so ridiculous? Why is this true? Why does this annoy–and it
doesn’t annoy me about most people. There’s a lot of people
that are vegan that are great, but it’s the ten percent
that are annoying as fuck that are worth talking about. You know, there’s, like,
that ten percent, and what is wrong with them? Why do they say such silly shit? It’s really simple. They don’t get enough nutrients. They don’t realize
what they’re saying is silly. You need cholesterol to form
your own opinions, all right? They say ridiculous shit
that’s easy to refute. Like, here’s the big one
that vegans love to say. So if this ever comes up, please feel free to use this. “Do you know that humans
are the only animal to drink the milk
of other animals?” Like, whoa, that’s so crazy. You know what else
only people do? Fly planes, make movies, call each other on the phone, and tell each other
how awesome milk is. What the fuck kind
of goofy ass point is that? That is so poorly thought out. Are you trying to say that
other animals don’t want milk? You ever give your dog a bowl
of milk, he’s like, “Dude, where the fuck
did you get this shit?” He doesn’t stop
and go, “Hey, man, “is this organic
free-range dog milk, ’cause if it’s not,
fuck off, pig.” Your dog–your dog
can’t believe it’s cold. “How is it cold
but it’s warm outside? Are you a wizard?” [grunting] Your dog would eat a bowl
of dog assholes if you put it in his bowl,
all right. It’s not
like there’s a moral quandary. Oh, should I drink milk? No, they’re too fucking
dumb to farm. That’s what’s going on. “Oh, man, you know,
you think you’re funny now. “Tell all the jokes you want,
but milk is bad for you. Milk causes cancer.” I’ve got news for you. If you get cancer from milk,
you’re a fucking pussy, okay. My grandfather ate cigarettes,
and he lived to be 1,000. Mine died when he was only 25. What happened?
Dairy. He was eating yogurt,
and he died, but he died doing what he loved. Died a guy
who lived on the edge. They don’t eat honey. That’s how you know vegans
are completely ridiculous. The real hard core vegans,
they don’t eat honey, and they love to say this. “Well, you can, but I don’t.” Oh, thank you so much. I didn’t know
I could have honey, but I’m still below you though,
right? Oh, you’re better. Honey, fucking honey. You don’t have
to kill to get honey. You just take it with smoke. You blow smoke on them,
and you take it. That’s it. They don’t even know it’s gone.
They don’t even get mad. This motherfucker was like,
“You really think it’s cool those bees just work
for people?” Okay, yeah,
that’s kind of fucked up, right, because you know what bees do
when they’re not making honey? Nothing.
They don’t have other jobs. It’s not
like they’re on their way to bee stunt driving school,
and they got kidnapped, and forced to work in
the white man’s honey factory. No, they’re cunty
little shitty bugs with one job. They make honey,
and they only live to be a week. They only live a week–
They die of old age in a week, and they die doing everything;
they die when they sting you. When a male honeybee has sex,
his dick breaks off, and he bleeds out. That is literally nature
telling you to go fuck yourself. “I don’t see it that way, man. “I don’t fucking
see it that way, okay? “I think of all animals
in the universe “as unique, and individual, “and equal, and when I see a bee
that’s dying, “I feel the same way
as if a loved one was passing, “and I see this noble bee, “and I’m like,
‘Noble bee, “‘you stung, even though you
knew you were going to die. Why did you do it?'” and the bee’s like, “I saw a baby next “to me in the grass, and I was like,
fuck that baby.” Team people, bitch,
team people. The reason
we’re still here, someone way smarter than you figured out
how to steal honey with smoke. My God, you silly fuck. Agave tastes like shit. It tastes like shit.
You stop it. It’s bad for you too. And by the way, what’s
with all this naming shit, like, vegan chicken? Vegan chicken,
you’re eating vegan chicken? You know
that chicken’s an animal, and you got to kill it
to eat it? Why–isn’t that
what you don’t want to do? Why are you pretending
your plant is an animal that you killed? Being a vegan
that eats fake chicken, that’s like being a pediatrician that likes
to kick rubber babies. What’s your fucking
weird end game here, man? Why you calling
that vegan ice cream? “It is vegan ice cream.” No, no, no,
no, no, no, it’s not. No, no, no, no, ice cream
has cream in it. Cream is from fucking cows,
dummy. You can’t have vegan ice cream. You need to make a new noise with your face
that means that shit. There’s no cream in it. You’re a liar. What you have
is some frozen tofu bullshit that tastes like sadness,
all right? Thank you very much.
You guys have been fantastic.