Sep
02
Team League Squad – “Pilot”


[Crowd Noises and LoL Game sounds] PHREAK
That could be the decider of this game as Team Shadow goes in for Baron. Glory Trolls
are gonna have a really tough time if they wanna bring this one back. KOBE
Ya if there’s one thing that could get Glory Trolls back into this game it’s DeDoDo with
his Mid Shaco, we haven’t seen anyone try to pull that off since James Yeong. PHREAK
Wow Kobe! Blast from the past, I’m surprised you even remembered his name. KOBE
Yeah, nobody else does. PHREAK
And here comes Pudgy channeling crowstorm, in they go, Sona flashes in, lands a crescendo
and crowstorm is destroying everybody inside the Baron pit. Kobe there’s a teleport coming in! KOBE
OHH! It’s DeDoDo! PHREAK
Baron only halfway done and team shadow is melting away [shoutcasters fade out] KATE
Are we sure we wanna keep these? JAMES
No… KATE
So you want me to toss them? JAMES
Yeesss…. [shoutcasters fade back up]
PHREAK Pudgy tops and it’s not easy to stay alive,
Glory Trolls nearly aced but DoDo-Do finishing what his team started.
That’s 1… 2… 3… KOBE
ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??? JAMES
WHAT?! NO!!! [Brian barges in]
BRIAN YEAAAAASSS!!!! They stole my mid shaco! YES. THEY. DID. NO. OK. Brian, could you please not disturb
James from focusing on the interview that he’s been prepping for all week? Hey, I’m the one helping, I’m giving him a
ride. I’m not just here, hanging out. Wait. What the hell is this? Huh? League junk? Well
I wonder who labeled that. Babe… You told me you wanted them gone. When did I say that? And do you know how hard
it was to win that trophy? James, just focus on the interview. You’re
gonna do great. My dad’s already put the word in. And they’re gonna love you. Banks don’t love anyone
[moving box hits ground] They took my mid-shaco. My baby. They kidnapped
my baby. I didn’t sleep, I didn’t eat. I tried 20 different rune pages. You have an apartment. You have a girlfriend.
He doesn’t have any of that. He’s actually got all that, plus a cool job. Brian! Nah it’s good. I’m fine. Ha cool. I’m just
gonna Cuh Cuh Cuh Crush IT! Great! Well I am going to finish unpacking
the bedroom, babe I will call you after your interview. And Brian– you have one job. Drive? Drive? Well it’s almost noon, you want to head out? Yeah cool. Uh we just gotta stop at my place
first. Oh, why is that? I forgot my license. My wallet. I forgot my
wallet license. Your license or your wallet? Which one? That’s right. [Car flys by] Can we just do this quick? Behind this door, is one of the most sophisticated
palaces of gaming that has ever been conceived. I mean this, this is Riot Mecca James. This
— is Team League Squad. [head slams into door] RANDY!! FUCK!
Why would you lock the top lock? You don’t lock, the top lock. Where’s your keys? Where’s your pants? Andy challenged me to a game of strip solo
que, he’s pissed that I’m counting my shoes as clothing. No, no no. You purposely put your shoes back
on before we played. That’s a breach of the rules in a shoe free zone, Randy. In what world are shoes not clothing, Andy? Randy, they’re not to be worn in the house
you freaking animal. Show me an animal, one animal that wears shoes. Randy Andy Randy ANDY! STOP! Both of you. Now. Stop it. This is
James ok, I’m showing him the place. You’re getting your wallet. I’m showing him the wallet. James Yeong? THE James Yeong? YeongMoney21? Are you the new Mid dude? Uh, yeah, but no. I’m actually getting to
a job interview, like now. It’s almost noon guys, get this game done
and get ready to que up. GOD. Dammit. [screams] God I hate teemo man. You know what? This game would have been over twenty minutes ago if it wasn’t for the lag. Oh was it the laggy-waggy boo boo Andy? L- Lag? James we have to handle this now. Ok I see what you’re doing and it’s not going
to work. We’ve been over this. I am done gaming. Dude, I literally. I just can’t hear anything
you say when I’m in a hustle. [door opens] Ty? Ty! [snaps fingers] Hey! What are you
doing? Avoiding you. Discovering the essential univers- ok dude,
mom does not live here you do not need to waste your time with that crap. Mom adopted me because I’m smart. Why are you not practicing? Lag. Check it out my Mind-y-ons. This is the coach
of my team, TLS, say what up everyone. Mindy, James, James this is Mindy. Hi James. Guys I’m actually working right
now, so could you just, ya know — leave. Uh yeah, well your stream is gumming up our
connection. Aww sorry gummy. what? Ok seriously, we talked about this. Ok but if we had more bandwith like you said
we would, this wouldn’t be a problem. [donation chime rings]
[air horns sound] Girls gotta make a livin homie. [donation music plays] Mindy was very homeschooled. What are you doing? I’m getting a lift. James, wait. I didn’t actually bring you here
to get my wallet. No shit you didn’t! Do you seriously want to work at a bank? It is not about want dude. My cars in the
shop, I don’t have the money to get it out, and I’m this close to getting my shit together. You’re acting like we want different things.
You want a car? Here. There. Didn’t even try to grab it wow. Fine, I need it anyway because
it’s a rental. Just hear me out man. Room and board, wi-fi,
shares of any sponsorships we can discuss at a later time. See. Right there. You are acting like we have
already made it. The house your team all of that equipment; look at this place! How are
you even paying for all of this? Just let me worry about that. You’d be crazy
to throw this away man. I mean it’s the 21st century, e-sports is our sport. This is our
time. People spend their lives trying to get an ounce of what you have. Ok, what I have is a job interview. Great, go. Have fun wearing transparent green
visors and bow ties and telling people how much money they have when they give it to
you. And also have fun opening safe vaults, and
spinning that thing for people and people going wooo how does he open that? Great. See ya. James! I’ve set up scrims for tomorrow and
if we bail this whole thing comes crashing down. Why would you do that?! Because I was excited to do this with you. Thanks for the ride. [car door opens and closes] Oh by the way, one of the scrims is against
Glory Trolls! James! Glory Trolls! They stole your mid-shaco James! Take it back! Take it
BACK! You know, if you really did come up with mid-shaco
that’s pretty cool. Aren’t you Melonie Mac from All Chat? Yea.. this is just a day time job. [Brian nervously zips his zipper up and down] Well back to the drawing board. That was the drawing board. He wasn’t even our first choice. He was the last serious one. You know, my dad plays League. He’s actually really good! [door opens and shuts] Hey. I’m James. I’m the new Mid. If that’s
cool. Yeah. I uh.. Yeah. If that’s cool with everyone
else. Yeaaahahaha Hell Yea! Obviously. Welcome to Team League Squad. [the crashing sound of the Defeat screen] Alrighty then. Practice run over, all warmed
up now? Yea? Bloods flowin, startin to flow, how great was James? Huh? [claps his hands] Ok. Andy- maybe don’t spam taunt after every
kill. Mindy- don’t try to solo dragon when the river is flooded with wards. Oh Randy-
horses. Horses wear shoes. Umm, Ty. Maybe leave Top a little sooner? I played flawlessly. I’ll go get some pizza. How’d the interview go? [a phone vibrates]
[outro music starts to play] [Randy taps his shoulder]