May
17
Sports Announcer – SNL



>> YOU ARE WATCHING MSG NETWORK
HOME OF THE KNICKS AND RANGERS. >> WELCOME BACK RANGERS FANS.
DALE WORTHY HERE IN THE BOOTH WITH CHRISSY SMITH.
IT'S THE END OF THE SECOND PERIOD DOWN ON THE ICE AND THE
RANGERS LEAD THE OILERS, 3-2. >> OUR REGULAR RINK SIDE
REPORTER PAUL HANLEY IS OUT TODAY ON DIAPER DUTY.
HE AND HIS LOVELY WIFE JOAN WELCOMED THEIR FIRST CHILD A
FUTURE RANGERS FAN NAMED COLE. CONGRATS TO THEM.
>> LUCKILY LASLO HOLMES WHO USUALLY COVERS THE KNICKS FOR US
HERE AT MSG IS FILLING IN FOR PAUL WHILE HE'S OUT.
HERE'S DOWN THERE RINK SIDE NOW. HOW ARE YOU DOING DOWN THERE
LAS? >> IN A WORD, COLD.
IT'S VERY COLD ALL AROUND HERE. I'M JUST PLAYING.
I'M HAVING FUN HERE AT THE HOCKEY GAME.
LOTS OF FUN HOCKEY GOING ON. LOTS OF WHITE DUDES ON SKATES
RUNNING INTO EACH OTHER AT FULL SPEED.
I DO NOT GET IT. JUST MESSING AROUND.
VERY DIFFERENT FROM WORKING AT THE KNICKS GAMES.
MUCH COLDER. >> LAS, WHAT'S YOUR IMPRESSION
OF THE GAME SO FAR? >> WELL, DALE, THE STORY OF THE
GAME IS ONE OF THE MAIN GUYS ON THE RANGERS– DON'T KNOW HOW TO
SAY HIS NAME, HAS LIKE 30 LETTERS IN IT, NONE OF THEM
ARE VOWELS. HE'S PLAYING GREAT WHICH IS
CRAZY BASE HE GOT IN A FULL FISTFIGHT IN THE FIRST MINUTE OF
THE GAME. HEY, AS THEY SAY IN HOCKEY,
LET'S DO THAT HOCKEY. I MISS THE KNICKS.
I'M JUST KIDDING. LAZLO HOLMES, VERY COLD, RINK
SIDE, RANGERS VERSUS OILERS. >> LAS, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT
THIS RANGER OFFENSE. >> YOU SHOULD DO THAT.
>> I MEANT WITH YOU, LAZ. NOW, THEY CAME OUT OF THE BOX
WITH AN AGGRESSIVE OFFENSE WE HAVEN'T SEEN FROM THEM IN A
WHILE. >> THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
>> FROM DOWN THERE ON THE ICE, WHO DO YOU THINK REALLY MADE A
DIFFERENCE IN THE FIRST PERIOD? >> DEFINITELY THE HOCKEY
PLAYERS, CHRISSY. THEY WERE THE ONES WHO GOT ALL
THE SCORES. THEN YOU'VE GOT THE GOALIE,
WEARING EVERY PAD IN THE WORLD. AND A BASEBALL GLOVE.
HE'S WORKING VERY HARD, TOO. IT IS SO COLD HERE.
>> HEY, LAS, I SEE ONE OF THE PLAYERS THERE, I WONDER IF YOU
COULD GET A FEW QUESTIONS IN. >> GREAT.
LET'S TALK TO HIM. COME ON OVER HERE, DUDE.
OKAY. I'M HERE WITH — CAN YOU TURN
AROUND SO I CAN GET THAT NAME? AND THAT IS THE S, K AND J NEXT
TO EACH OTHER. SO, THAT'S A NO.
[ LAUGHTER ] I'M HERE WITH MY MAIN MAN.
I HAVE GOT TO KNOW, IN THE NEXT PERIOD HOW ARE YOU GOING TO DO
THAT HOCKEY? >> WELL, YOU KNOW, WE JUST GOT
TO KEEP UP THE PRESSURE AND STAY OUT OF THE BOX.
>> THAT'S WHAT'S UP. >> WE HAVE GOT TO WATCH THE
ICING CALLS. COACH SAID WE WERE ICING SO MUCH
WE COULD OPEN A BAKERY. >> I DO NOT GET THAT.
>> YEAH, BUT WE REALLY JUST GOT TO PLAY SMART AND KEEP MOVING
THE PUCK AND AVOID THOSE FIVE MINUTE MAJORS.
>> THIS MAN SAID IT ALL. LET ME ASK, ARE YOU ALSO COLD AS
HELL? >> NO, KIND OF HOT, ACTUALLY.
>> YEAH, I'M VERY COLD. SO THAT'S THE STORY HERE IN
HELL. BACK TO YOU GUYS IN THE BOOTH.
>> WELL, THE STORY OF THE GAME HAS BEEN THE POWER PLAY.
HERE WITH A CLOSER LOOK IS OUR PLAY BY PLAY ANALYST TIM HAYWARD
WHO JOINS LAS, RINK SIDE. >> YOU SAID IT, TWO OF THE THREE
RANGER GOALS CAME WHILE THE OILERS WERE SHORTHANDED.
>> THAT'S WHAT'S UP. >> LET'S TAKE LOOK AT ONE NOW.
RANGERS ON THE POWER PLAY HERE. WE CAN STOP THAT.
AND THERE IS SHATTENKIRK AT THE POINT.
AND WATCH [ GIBBERISH ] FIND THE OPEN ICE IN THE MIDDLE LANE
THERE. >> CHRISSY, IT WAS HERE WHEN I
SAW SOMETHING THAT WAS VERY INTERESTING.
CAN WE PUNCH IN ON THAT? THERE IS A BLACK HOCKEY FAN.
HE DOESN'T LOOK COLD AT ALL. SO I'LL PROBABLY BE TALKING TO
HIM IN THE POST GAME SHOW AND FIND OUT EXACTLY WHAT'S GOING ON
THERE. >> ANYWAY, THE RANGERS SCORED A
GOAL THERE. DALE, CHRISSY, BACK TO YOU.
>> THANKS, TIM. LAS, DO YOU HAVE ANY THOUGHTS ON
IF THE COACH IS GOING TO STICK WITH HIS STRATEGY OF KEEPING
THOSE LINE CHANGES PRETTY SHORT? >> NO.
>> ALL RIGHT. WELL, THANKS, LAS.
>> AND THERE'S THE HORN. AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.
>> I DO NOT. >> IT'S TIME FOR THE THIRD
PERIOD. WE'LL CHECK BACK IN WITH LAS
LATER WHO WILL BE COVERING EVERY RANGERS GAME FOR US WHILE
OUR REGULAR RINK SIDE COMMENTATOR
PAUL IS BACK FROM PATERNITY LEAVE.
>> PAUL, WE'LL SEE YOU IN SIX MONTHS.
>> SIX MONTHS? >> THIRD PERIOD STARTS NOW.
>> WHEN DID WE START DOING PATERNITY LEAVE?
[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]