Sep
21
Local Cricket Press Conference: Tea-Time Trouble


– You good? Good? Alright, let’s go. – [Interviewer] Skip, you want to explain what happened today? – You want to explain, mate? – Yeah. I’ve just had a chat with the opposition and
the match officials. I’ve prepared a few things here as well. Look, I was rostered on for tea today, and probably went a bit wide
with what I chose to cook. I attempted the coconut chili crab curry out of the Matty Hatan
cookbook, and I didn’t nail it. It’s something I have
perfected in the past at home. – That’s actually true, the darl and I were over for tea the other
night, bloody delicious. – Yeah, but I didn’t nail it today, and in doing so I failed my duties is what we call here at the
Grubs the Head of the Spread. During the break there
was a bit of a panic, a little bit of a discussion,
and I ordered Nando’s, but once I saw that it was
being delivered on a bike I knew I was in real strife. There’s nowhere to hide, and I just want to apologize to everyone. My teammates, the opposition, and the umpire appointed
by the association for today’s meltdown. – [Interviewer] Skip,
did others in the team know about this plan? – Correct, the leadership group knew, we discussed it in the pub last night. Obviously this isn’t a
proud moment for the cub, we know that, but I can just give you my guarantee that this
will never happen again under my leadership. – [Interviewer] So, this
has never happened before? – Definitely. – [Interviewer] Hammy? – No, in my four years at the Grubs we take tea really seriously. There’s none of this four
boxes of Shapes stuff, you know with a couple of stale cheese and bacon rolls from Cole’s. It’s the honey soy chicken wings with the Hoisin drizzle
that Skip prides himself on. That is the standard and we
fell well short of that today. – [Interviewer] How does
the team move on from this? – We learn. We’re sorry, we’re
embarrassed, bloody hungry. But for Hammy, it’s to go back to basics. It’s probably look something like some party pies in the coming weeks. Shouldn’t be too much
of a problem for Hammy, he bowls plenty of them. And yeah, but look that’s cricket. So– – [Food Delivery Man] Order for Hammy? – Yeah, that’s me! Thank you. – Did you get the spicy Peri-Peri? – I got the lemon and herb. – Jesus Christ, alright,
thank you, I’m done. – Oh, they forgot my pita wrap!