Oct
19
Life: The Game


Hello everybody my name is Markiplier and welcome to “Life The Game”! and if any – nu oh get oh shit oh–oh god I didn’t know, I had no idea We’re starting from waaaay in the beginning “Talk!” Uh….okay. What! I-i-This doesn’t seem like talking this is more like singing. I got to protest at this because I’m pretty sure I know what talking is all about considering I do it for a living! (groans) What the Hell are you talking about, you baby. Yay I did it! Did I progress through adulthood? Oh, two plus five is… 17, oh god. Uh, square root of 9 is three, this is 20, got it! Got it! Yeah!!! I’m s–“Puberty”? Holy Shit! Oh god. You’re not supposed to pop these, this is how you get acne scars. This is not what you’re supposed to be doing. Noooooooooo. Nooooooooo! I–Don’t make my mistakes I got acne scars because I popped my scurres! Awww, this poor son of a bitch. Oh, okay, I guess we’re okay then. Nevermind then! Oh, “Date!” Oh, okay Oh, “Swipe”? Ew. Yeah sure! What? Ahh! *cuts off* …ohhh…=( Oh, ohohokay! But she looked okay! Uh, yeah? Okay! I’ll play your way, game! Neh! She looks nice. Zoidberg? Why not! Oh, okay that’s acceptable apparently! Oh! Cool! Ahh Boink, boink, boink. Doink, doink doink.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOH KILLIN’ IT!!! Intern! Oh that doesn’t seem good. Make coffee. Uh, chhizzth, uh, uh, uh, YAY!!!! “Get Married”? Where’d I? Where’d we? We’rerere rushing in a little bit to this, I don’t know if I want to do all of this. What does this do? Oh, shoes, OH! “Get Kids”? But didn’t we skip a step here? Eh, Ah, OOOOOOOH, EEEEEEH Wha? Oh Shit goddammit we’re getting–what the? Whoa fuck Okay, No! The car! I need it! Goddammit car get out of there! eh,eh,eh, I don’t know what I’m doing, but I’m really depressed about it. ;o; Wah, Wah, Wah! Okay. “Midlife Crisis” still? What the fuck? I thought I… Oh I bought everything, oh I’m not supposed to buy everything! Okay, new car…. D-zz-Weeeeeeeeeights I want that speedo and I want that giant jalapeno for some reason Yay!!! I have abs? really? Oh, shit what do I do? In the fire? In the fire? Do I put them in the fire? Ohh, that’s what I already planned to do! Okay, this is getting a little to crisisy “Grand Children!” Okay, what am I. What am I–What am I doing here? Just not letting them kill themselves? Cause’ Oh my God they real, they real, this is like Daddy’s home. Oh God! Oh, God, Oh, God I’m juggling. No I put him towards the fire! Holy Shit! Ahh, ah. Okay! “Stay Healthy”? How? I don’t. Oh God I’m very slow at this! Why am I? Oh geez. Oh, gersh Woah. Up and over! up and, Oh shit! Da fuck! Oh, God that’s not going to cut it Ah, Titty sprinkles! Goddammit! Ah! I’m just an old man, ah fuck this shit! Ah, I can’t take it anymore! I lost all control of my bowels! My bladder doesn’t function as a urinary tract, it’s now just a superhighway for infection. BULLSHIT! Let’s try this anyway. Okay then. Nice and easy we got all the time in the world. A-hup, Nice and easy. Like a steady old man should be. Steady like a fox is…a…cool way of– I’m actually just kinda slow and careful about it, it’s pretty, YAY! I–“Die”? Wait, what the fuck, hang on a tick here! Hold, hold your tits! what the f—? Oh shit! Oh what will I do!?! Oh God! Oh! Oh! Oh! We’re done. Wow. Well, that was Life! Cool Huh? Glad w-we did that together. Thank you, I guess, we’re done here. There’s a sequel to this game called “Afterlife: The Game”, so I guess I’ll be playing that one. But, have a lovely day. I love you. BYE–