Dec
02
Jimmy Recaps Thanksgiving, Sunday Night Football and Sings Some Leftover Advice


-We are here on a Sunday.
[ Cheers and applause ] You know, after spending
12 hours on Thanksgiving eating, drinking,
and watching football, it was nice to relax today
with 12 hours of eating, drinking,
and watching football. There were some
big matchups today. You had Oakland
versus Kansas City, San Francisco versus Baltimore, and Americans versus
their bathroom scale. Americans lost. But tonight on NBC, the New England Patriots
played the Houston Texans. That’s right. For the Texans, it was
the biggest game of the year. For the Patriots, it was
a short layover in Houston on the way to the Super Bowl. -Oh.
-But this is cool. I read that the
Houston Texans have one of the biggest jumbotrons
in the NFL. Even crazier, they bought it on
Black Friday for a 100 bucks. Good deal.
-Wow. -It’s officially
the holiday season, and everyone is in the spirit. Even the Jets gifted the Bengals
their first win of the season. That’s right — earlier today, the winless Cincinnati Bengals
played the New York Jets. When fans in Cincinnati
yelled, “You suck,” both teams were like, “Wait. Are you yelling that
at us or them? Them? Us? We’re good.
Either way, we’re good.” This is strange.
Did you hear about this? Ever since a black cat
ran onto the field during Monday Night Football
a month ago, teams with cat names are
0-12 heading into today. Yeah. This only proves
one thing — that there’s a stat guy
who definitely didn’t bring a date home
for Thanksgiving. -Would you look at this?
-There’s a… Meanwhile today,
the Giants hosted the Green Bay Packers for a game
in the snow in New Jersey. You could tell it was cold
when both quarterbacks had their hand under
the center’s butt even during the commercials. -Really? -But the weather was brutal
today with snow, ice, and rain, slowing down one of the busiest
travel days of the year. Flight delays ranged
between one hour and “The Irishman” on Netflix. -Oh. -I read that about 30 million
people flew for Thanksgiving. Sounds like a lot
until you realize 50 million booked tickets. -Oh. -Yeah, travel was crazy
all week long. I heard that
the day before Thanksgiving, a woman actually gave birth
on an American Airlines flight. While it was happening,
the guy next to her was like, “You know what? I will buy those headphones.” Some 2020 news. During a speech
in Iowa yesterday, Jill Biden was
introducing her husband, and something
a little strange happened. Take a look. -And when they cut to the President of the
United States… -It got worse when
she pulled her finger out and his teeth
were still attached. I mean, it was awful. Meanwhile, everyone is
talking about this. All weekend, people
have been memeing this shot of Baby Yoda sipping soup in the latest episode of
“The Mandalorian.” Take a look at him here. Aww. While some classic memes
aren’t too sure about this new meme
on the block. Check out what they had to say. Kermit said, “Not the first
green-guy-sipping meme I’ve seen, but that’s
none of my business.” Willy Wonka said, “Oh, so,
a little magical man likes warm drinks? How very original.” And, finally, Joe Biden said,
“Am I doing it right? Am I doing the meme right?” -That’s malarkey.
[ Cheers and applause ] Finally, guys — I don’t know
if you heard this, but health officials…
[ Laughter ] You might have heard that.
I don’t know. Health officials
are warning people not to store Thanksgiving
leftovers for too long, because they can get
unsafe to eat. But, as for me… ♪ I’m holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ ♪ I’m holding out
for one more Turkey sandwich ♪ ♪ If I eat it, I get E. coli ♪ ♪ If I eat it, I will die ♪ ♪ If I enjoy it,
I’m a happy guy ♪ ♪ Will I kill bacteria
if its fried? ♪ ♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ ♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ Everybody, sing along! ♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -That’s right. Come on. -♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for
one more Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Turkey sandwich ♪ -♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ ♪ Holding out for one more
Turkey sandwich ♪ -We have a great show!
Give it up for The Roots!