Aug
18
If Social Media Were An Olympic Sport


– Hello and welcome back to
the Social Media Olympics. My name is Field Reporter
1. We’re in the final rounds with returning champion, Lilly Singh. (dramatic music) Based on her performance
history, Lilly will have no trouble with sub-tweeting,
killing the GIF game, or fake ‘I woke up like this’ selfies. Having said that, she continues
to struggle with grammar, sharing fake news, and ensuring
her Twitter layout matches. Let’s hope this doesn’t get in between her and taking home that gold
emoji. Let the games begin. (dramatic music) This first game is called
hashtag Chained Down. The contestant must stay in bed, lay on their side, keeping
their phone charged, and taking the best possible selfie. – Now it takes serious skill
to hit the correct angles when being restricted with
a short charger cable. (dramatic music) – [Female Judge] Oh look at
that form. It’s flawless. She truly is a natural. – [Male Judge] Wow. That’s
89 selfies in nine seconds. That’s gotta be a new record. – But how many of them are blurry? It’s about the little details. A piece of hair, a slightly
more natural smile, a nice flare of the lens even. – Oh, great choice! – But the hardest part is yet to come. It is essential that Lilly
uses a quote in her caption. – There’s a lot of
directions she could go here. – Now the clock is ticking. – Any longer and she
may become irrelevant. – Is it chill that you’re in my head? Hashtag delicate. (applause) (triumphant music) – Oh in the nick of time.
A T-Sweezy reference. And with a hashtag for clarification. She slithers her reputation
all the way to the next round. On to the next game. She assumes
the appropriate position. (dramatic music) The goal here is to tweet like Trump using a maximum of 280 characters. – Oh this is no easy
task as President Trump doesn’t always use
nouns, adjectives, verbs or even real words when tweeting. – Not to mention, she
needs to get this done before her legs fall asleep. – Fake news wants you to believe that Mcdonald’s milkshake machines
are broke at 3:00 a.m. False! If they can make sundaes,
they can make milkshakes. Zero tolerance! – Fantastic tweet
complete with spelling and grammatical errors. But will
the judges slide into her DM’s? (applause)
(triumphant Tremendous effort. Another W in the books. This final game is called
The Great Facebook Shakeoff. Lilly must go on Facebook
and reduce any tension on her feed brought on her
family and nosy friends. – Now every selfie, every political view, every tagged photo has been
commented on by a family member or a high school friend. – This is especially
challenging on Facebook where everyone’s opinion is a fact. (dramatic music) – “Ew. Too much makeup.” – Uh oh. This doesn’t look good. – Yeah? How about I shove
some of it down your throat to give your personality a
makeover you trash muffin? (audience boos)
– Ouch. – [Crowd Member] You suck!
– “Put some clothes on. What the bloody hell you doing?” – What’s this? A comment from her father? Does she have another chance? She’s responding.
– Well that’s a type speed of about 60 kilometers per hour. – Really impressive
considering how many times auto-correct will change real words into other real words you didn’t mean. – Dad, put your glasses on.
It’s a novelty t-shirt. Duh! (triumphant music)
(applause) – She’s done it. Lilly has
won the Social Media Olympics. Look at that excited face. – Alright, yeah cool. Alright. Whoo hoo. Cool yeah, thanks. Um
okay, I’ll try to make this less than 15 seconds so
I can put it on my story. Thank you Internet and
thank you Will Smith for making Instagram great again. – There you have it. Until next year, remember anyone can be
great on the Internet, hashtags mean you care and
the more offended you are, the more woke you seem. This is Field Reporter
1 saying good night. – I hope you enjoyed this
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is a wrap and zoop. Yay!