Nov
13
Godfrey: Black People “Dominate Sports” – This Week at the Comedy Cellar


>>WHAT’S UP, GUYS? MY NAME IS GODFREY. ORIGINALLY FROM CHICAGO. PARENTS FROM WEST AFRICA, NIGERIA. HAD A VERY DIVERSE GROUP OF FRIENDS. OUR BASEBALL TEAM, WE HAD A PITCHER FROM INDIA. FIRST
BASEMAN WAS FROM MEXICO. I’M NIGERIAN. WE HAD AFRICAN-AMERICANS. WE WERE SO MIXED I REMEMBER WHEN WE PLAYED ALL WHITE TEAMS, THEY WOULD CALL US EVERY RACIAL SLUR WHILE WE WERE ON THE FIELD. WE WOULD LITERALLY GO, I THINK HE’S TALKING ABOUT YOU. ONE OF THE FIRST PEOPLE I MET DOING STAND-UP open mics WAS
BERNIE MAC. AND BERNIE MAC HAD OPEN MICS ON
THE SOUTH SIDE OF CHICAGO. I SEEN THIS DARK SKIN MAN WITH GLASSES GOING ‘I’M TELLING YOU
YOU MOTHER [BLEEP]. LET ME TELL YOU, I’M SICK AND TIRED OF BEING SICK AND TIRED.” FIRST THING I HEARD. I WENT ON STAGE AND FROM THERE I’M LIKE, I AIN’T GOING BACK, THIS IS IT.>>LOSE YOUR MIND FOR GODFREY! [ APPLAUSE ]>>YOU EVER BEEN DEEP SOUTH? DEEP DEEP SOUTH. THOSE ARE THE ONES, THE DEEP SOUTH, WHERE THE MOUTHS DON’T MOVE. HEY MAN, I JUST GONNA LET YOU KNOW YOU FUNNY AS HELL RIGHT THERE, OH, YEAH, THAT’S RIGHT, THAT’S RIGHT, I OUGHT TO TELL YOU THAT, YOU JUST HA, HA, YEH. I LOVE ALABAMA FOOTBALL, OKAY. DON’T MATTER IF YOU’RE BOOING. DON’T MATTER. THEYRE GOOD
PLAYERS. YOU MUST BE FROM A LOSER SCHOOL. THEY WERE THE LAST TO HAVE BLACK PLAYERS, ALABAMA FOOTBALL. AND BEAR BRYANT AT THE TIME, HE WAS THE COACH OUT OF ALABAMA AND WAS LIKE I THINK WE NEED COLORED PLAYERS. AND THE ALUMNI IS LIKE WE DON’T WANT NO GOD DAMNED COLORED — NO COLORED PLAYERS, YOU BETTER NOT — [ UNINTELLIGIBLE ] I’M SURE YOU KNOW WHAT THEY WERE SAYING, RIGHT? AND THEN, ONE DAY, ALABAMA WAS PLAYING A TEAM WITH COLORED PLAYERS. AND THIS IS WHAT THEY SAW. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT? THAT WAS ONE OF THEM COLORED PLAYERS, COACH. LET ME GET THE PHONE. YEAH, WE NEED SOME COLORED PLAYERS. WHY? TO CATCH THE OTHER COLORED PLAYERS.>>OH, THE WHITE GUYS JUST WENT BY. HOLY SHIT. I MEAN, I JUST SAYING WE DOMINATE THE SPORT. ANY TIME WE GET INTERESTED IN SPORTS, WE TAKING IT FROM YOU. GOLF, TOOK IT FROM YOU. TENNIS, TOOK IT FROM YOU. ALL THAT SHIT. WE JUST GOT TO GET INTERESTED.
KNOW WHAT I’M SAYING? THAT’S WHY YOU HAVE X GAMES
MOTHER [BLEEP]. CUZ YOU WERE TIRED OF BLACK
DUDES TAKING ALL YOUR SHIT. YOU WERE LIKE ‘DUDE WE GOT TO
FIND SOMETHING THAT THESE BLACK
DUDES WON’T TOUCH. HOW ABOUT WE JUMP OUT OF A HELICOPTER ON A BIKE INTO A GARBAGE CAN?’ HOW ABOUT THAT? THEY’LL NEVER
[BLEEP] DO IT THEY’LL JUST NEVER
[BLEEP] DO IT.